Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Shine_____Shine! You belong to us!

Friends and Family-- i just become more and more overwhelmed by all of your prayers covering our team over this trip as the days go on. Today, we've been back for two weeks and that is pushing the limit for timely blogging I know. There is just so much to tell you about the last week, not to mention all that I'm trying to process about what God is/was doing in my heart. Mind boggling really. I'm going to give it a good try though! I'm feeling pretty convicted about my level of openess as of late...so I'm gonna lay it out there as much as possible. Be warned.


The last blog I was coming off of my elephant high :). I know this may seem absurd to some of you, but I know that whole experience was from the Lord. A little kiss from above if you will. Precious. It really signified for me a long line of moments lately when the Hope of what God is doing in my life right now has completely covered the confusion. It has been a while since hope has outweighed confusion....I'm so thankful. I'm holding on to that. Ironically (or not), our shirts for the trip had Restored Hope on them along with my life scripture passage (Isaiah 58:9-12...check it out if you want your world rocked). I'm starting to get a clearer picture of what that is supposed to look like in my life-- Restoring the Hope of Jesus to the world-- and this trip played a huge role in that clarity. Beyond that (or before that?) though Jesus is taking me to the mats on some things...areas in my life that I've given up that Hope in exchange for something else, something I'm in more control of and requires less Trust. Pride and Trust is what is comes down to, and thier opposition. I've gotta admit too, it really hurts my pride to say that I've got a problem with it! ha. My pride does not want to admit any of this to myself, much less any of you. There in lies the need to do so I think.

These past two years between trips to Africa have been a struggle honestly. I've struggled with lies about who I am and who God has made me, and even with who God is in my life, how he speaks to me and works in my life. Lies that in order for lives to be changed I must work harder, do better, be more.(does this sound familar to anyone who knows me well?)Before this trip I could recognize the fruit of those lies--striving, anxiety, joylessness, mistrust, feeling emmense pressure from people--but I could not recognize the root. I saw over this last month how my inclination again became to do rather than pray, talk rather than listen, fix rather than trust--and thus, felt all that yuck again . These are all things that had subsided for me over the past few months of my new transistion-- and as a result I hadn't dealt with at all. Why I was suprised it all came rushing back in my face in Africa, I'm not sure. I felt unable in all ways to lead this trip well. (HARD for me to deal with and accept! Leading excellently is a part of who I am and something I value highly) But at the same time I felt God just calling me to More Trust over and over. I tried. I am trying. Still after being home, I will think of something that came up with team members or a situation with the kids and I just KNOW what Good Leader Julie would have done...should have done, but couldn't. Why is so hard for me to believe that the creator of the universe can move without and inspite of me? Yeesh Weaver. All I know how to do now is keep trusting and pouring out my heart to God about that--which is even difficult most times. Please hold me in your prayers about all of this. God isn't through with me yet on this I know. But I also feel so assured that there is purpose behind all of it. That this JUNK that I feel like I've dealt with before is centrally tied in to my calling...that this healing is vitally important.
You all have my permission to hold me accountable to work through this. And to remind me I said that...

Now, enough with me. Here is what happened the last week at GGA. It was a doozie.

Funerals and Urns
Sadly, Monday morning after we returned from our safari one of the GGA staff passed away unexpectedly. Peter had been with GGA and Heather and Patrick since the beginning and realy had no other family besides the GGA family due to some achohol problems he battled. He helped raise all the kids from the time they were babies and really sick and so it was devestating for everyone. Obviously, i didn't know Peter that well, but from my interactions with him over both trips he was such a kind and gentle man. Two of the volunteers, Julian and Charlie (who I wrote about earlier) were the ones to find him. It was such a heartbreaking situation, but I was broken for Charlie. I can't imagine dealing with that and having no hope of anything more than this life.

The funeral was on the Saturday before we left all day long. It was such an incredible holy event. (and really really long...even more so since I held a 3 year old the entire time...more on that to come) Beautiful words were spoken, beautiful music sung, and many many people stood to speak to what an blessing Peter had been to them. I had to pray at the funeral...when Heather asks, I can't say no. Talk about being nervous! I don't get nervous about praying...but I've never prayed at a funeral, much less for someone I don't know before! Andrew was asked to sing and he sang "Give me Jesus" which was beautiful and holy too. He got a lot of Gogo points for that one...they were YEBO!ing all over the place (which means yes).

All in all the funeral, plus graveside (where you wait until the casket has been covered by first logs, then a tarp, then the dirt filled in with shovels), and huge meal for all present lasted about 5 hours. During the service...almost three hours....I had Mballi on my lap and Andrew had Asanda. They are 3. I don't know if you've ever held a 3 year old on your lap through a 3 hour funeral...but it is challenging. I had to take Mballi out twice during the funeral because she was understandable acting up. I had to channell some Max Weaver (not that he had to ever take ME out of church ;)...and I think I did him proud.

After the graveside there is a ritual in zulu culture that you take part in on your way to the meal. There are two buckets of water: one dirty, and one clean. First you wash your hands in the dirty (I was told to signify both remembering your sin and that of the deceased) and then in the clean (to signify the good overcoming the bad or Christ's cleansing of us). All explanations I got for the ritual I thought were beautiful.

Funerals are not fun. But I was so thankful we were there. To be extra arms to hug kids and that kind of thing. My little Suziwe (girl on my face in my facebook picture) was so upset and crying so hard her nose started bleeding. Poor babies.

A funny funeral story...Myrtle (Heather's sister and manager of the orphanage) called me one day and asked if we could buy and urn for the funeral because the one that they had 'just wouldn't do'. So...of course I said yes! And i was trying to be a grown up about having to go with Charlie to pick out an urn for a man's funeral that I didn't know very well. Well, we had dinner with Heather and Patrick (or Heath and Pat as Katie liked to call them haha) that same night and Heather thanked me for offering to buy the urn. Sure no problem. Over the course of the meal she started telling us a story about how Peter always wanted to be cremated (is that spelled right?) but she didn't care because he was gone and didn't have a say anymore (ha!), but they kept having all this trouble with digging the grave. We all looked at each other and Donna said "Then why are we buying an urn!?" and Heather yells "WHAT URN!?!" Melissa goes "ughhh....this is awkward!" and we all were really uncomfortable. I finally said "the urn that myrtle asked us to buy" and Patrick says "a WATER urn". hahahhahah. We laughed so hard that Heather said she may wet herself. Thankfully I found out I was supposed to by a hot water urn and not an URN urn before Charlie and I went to the store. Yikes.

Beach Day
On Sunday we took all the kids to the beach and it may have been the biggest nightmare of my entire life :). Not only did one of the GGA vans get stolen, but we (the group volunteers who are not actually in charge of the kids and don't know all of their names) were the only ones with the kids on the bus and therefor the only ones with the kids when we arrived. As kids do, they all needed the restroom and we had to take them, but then had even less clue about where the 'real volunteers' were! It was a nightmare for a few hours...we got seperated, didn't know where all teh kids were, and when we finally found Charlie and the group all the volunteers besides him were just sitting around chilling. AGH. The youth minister in me was stressed out...and the 3rd grade teacher in Katy was stressed out and so we left to go shop. :) True Americans. The bus ride was fun though! Amahle (who I want to steal) sat with me as well as Chummy, Tombiso, and Longello (there were 3 seats) and asked me who my friend was that sang at the funeral. I said 'Andrew' and he proceeded to mock Andrew's western style of trained singing...it was hysterical and pretty accurate. On the way home all the boys were sleeping and drooling all over. me. Good times.

Those are the big things...I'm getting very tired of typing! A few other bullet point highlights:

* Seeing Thula Sizwe the musical about AIDS that the GGA choir performs again.
*Taking Awkward Family Photos on the set of Thula Sizwe
*Getting proposed to/love professed to 3 times by the end of that week
*Andrew and Melissa's awesome performance of Ain't No Mountain in the Doval
* Throwing away our nasty work shoes, gloves, and clothes on Tuesday because we though it was our last day of work due to a strike on Wednesday...the strike was a hoax.
* Visiting the valleys with Julian and Charlie-- seeing GGA's pre-school Crafcor which does and excellent job with very little, seeing the house my team built two years ago (IT IS SO CUTE! It made me tear up), and visiting a zulu 'public' school...way overcrowded and in disrepair.

The kids at the public school all greeted us by name and said "Shine Julie, Shine! You belong to us!" Afterall...we are all in this together.

I need a hug. Julie

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Circle of Life

Hello Friends!!

What an exciting day. We just finished our Safari and had an incredible time! Highlights for me are being out of the van include
1. Being 25-30 ft away from a HUGE elephant for at least 20 minutes while it took a mud bath. Oh my word...I can't tell you how awesome it was! Thanks Jesus. :)
2. Seeing 5 Cheetah with a kill. Little far off for good pics, but still amazing!!
3. Starting down a Rhino out of my window ten feet away...little scary!!
4. Taking a picture of Heather Reynolds (founder of GGA) with Pink Jesus, our team mascot. (www.answermejesus.com)

Now for a full team update. But first, a disclaimer. I just glanced at my old posts and caught at least 4 grammatical and spelling errors. Please forgive me for those, I can't spell and I don't have the time or the rem sleep to proof these before I post them.

Team: Melissa and Katy are here and safe and fantastic!! WHEW what a difference two people make in a team of 8 total. Just seemed to make thigs click. Their energy and excitement really has poured over into me and most of the rest of the team. So things are good! We have a very eclectic group all around and it has been interesting to see the dynamics. So much to learn from each other.

Work: We finally did some! WHEW. We've laid a major (at least 10 inches!) concrete sidewalk around the pre-school front and sides this week as well as helping with the food drops in the valleys on Monday and Tuesday. We have to at least finish that sidewalk or there will be some major frustrations!

Coming Attractions: This coming week we are going to get to visit families in the valley with the volunteer in charge of the Child Sponsorship program. Prayers that our eyes would see what the Lord sees, our hearts would feel what His feel, and that in the midst of that our Hope would come from His Love and Grace. Also, please pray for our relationship with Charlie, the volunteer. Charlie is an aethiest a really bitter about life. We have a few things going for us in his eyes, mainly that we aren't so "disgustingly nice" like most Christians. Compliment??? Mmmmm. He is hysterical and makes my heart hurt at the same time.

Next weekend if the weather is nice we get to take the kids to the beach to have one last good time with them! I'm excited about that.

In other news: My Daddy says I'm worth 20 cows :).

Prayer!!!!
*I've got a case of the RV again (Rondoval Virus aka, allergies to the thatched roof)
*Work- productivity and feelings of purpose and accomplishment
*Attitude- that team members would have a positive attitude about being here and trust in the fact that even in the midst of frustrations with how GGA is run or work not going like we 'planned' that God IS working. Maybe not even inspite of those things, but in them.
*Safety- another national strike next wednesday.

PRAISE!
Diana and Taylor feel better woo!
We saw elephantswoo!
Melissa and Katy are here woo!
God is moving. Double woo woo!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

With this cow...I thee wed.

So...I'm fully aware that ideas that come up in the rondoval late at night here in South Africa aren't always based in reality. Just wanted to share an idea the team had the other night and you can do with it what you'd like...laugh or get excited and make some shirts!

So there is a man here named Siya. Siya is fantastic. He leads the chior here at GGA and is quite a character. Siya grew up at GGA but is 29 now. The last time I was here Siya was telling us about his girlfriend and little baby (then 2, now 4). About how they had wanted to get married for a really long time, but he couldn't afford the Lebola (sp??). The Lebola is a Zulu tradition similar to a dowry....which has good and bad merits that I won't go into. Siya needs to buy 11 cows (plus other gifts) in order to marry his gf. Cow are about 6000R or $850 which is a LOT of money here even with his job as the GGA chior director. Two years ago Siya had 2 cows and now, as far as we could tell from our conversation has 3 cows plus a goat and some blankets. (this sounds like a bad joke as I'm typing). So Siya left our rondoval (sidenote: he came over for so water after he taught us a sweet Zulu dance!! we are pretty whitebread and it i looks terrible, but fun!) and we all discussing how we feel for him wanting to marry his gf and take care of his family, but now only getting to see them on the weekends because they live with her parents until he can buy all the cows. We decided we really wanted to help him and the idea of the "With This Cow, I Thee Wed" t-shirt was born. We even had a moment of rondoval delirum where we decided we should ask Chick-fil-A to sponsor them since they love Jesus and aren't open on Sundays. Haha.

But seriously...this t-shirt could be amazing, and it could help a really deserving guy marry his gf and be able to be a full time Daddy to his baby girl. We are investigating cultural implications right now...will it be offensive, etc? So stay tuned...

In other news...We did some actual work yesterday and it was GREAT! Very good for the team moral to do something productive where we could see the difference we made. Very very good. Katy and Melissa get here tomorrow night and we can't wait for them to join us! We are going to clean the rondoval today to prepare. On tap for next week, we will get to help with 2 food drops on Monday and Tuesday, and get to go on our safari to the game park next weekend. I really would like to see lions and elephants :).

Prayer Requests
* That Melissa and Katy would feel a part of our group and recover from Jet Lag quickly!
* That all of us would be focused on loving on people and being obedient to what Jesus is leading us to do.
* Lions and Elephants :)
* Diana and Taylor are having some allergy/cold problems...pray for healing.


Love and Hugs!
J

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Greetings from South Africa!

Friends!!
We have officially been at GGA for a week as of last night about 11:30. It has flown by for us, but thinking about what I need to update you all on I'm realizing quite a bit has happened. Most importantly, we all survived the madness of the 18 hour flight from DC to Jo'burg and got to GGA safe and sound and very very exhausted. Jet lag is a funny funny (and not in a funny) thing and I'm very glad that we all are over it now...although it took until this weekend!
The first few days we spent sleeping (A LOT) and playing with the kids here at GGA. Many of the kids are away visiting relatives because they are on a two week school break right now. So the ones that were left here have no one to visit and needed some special attention. We got thrown right into it on Thursday morning last week because GGA is very short on long term volunteers right now, some of which are gone on mandatory holliday right now, and many of the others have been sick! So we were enlisted to help entertain and watch the kiddos with one volunteer who was available. We made cupcakes (mixing it with our hands of course!) and played and played. It was fantastic. Many of the kids remember me, which I was not expecting, and I got a lot of questions like "Where is Ryan!?" and such about team members from the last trip. My favorite though was Amahle, who I taught to Hook Em Horns, last time and he remembered! (Bryn...I'm supposed to tell you that you have to come next trip, and that you need to send Amahle a watch and a chocolate) Andrew, our lone boy on the trip---who you should pray for because he has a lot of naggy sisters on this trip haha!--- has been called Harry Potter, Goofy, and June. Not sure where June fits in, but the other two fit pretty well. Creative kids.
Friday we went in the morning to see our worksite-- a public (although still costs money) preschool being built in the Valley of a Thousand Hills for about 30 kids. Most of the building has been finished by other teams and the building team here at GGA, but we will get to help lay a concrete slab around the building, put on a roof, plaster and paint the walls, and ***I really really hope*** get to paint a mural on the inside. There have been quite a few delays with us getting to work work, although I try to keep reminding our team that we are 'working' when we are loving on kids. The concrete mixer was in the shop on Monday, so we stayed here and played with kids and helped decorate and make cards for Myrtle's (the orphanage manager) 60th birthday. It was a great suprise! And then yesterday when we went to the worksite Robin, our concret mixer, was smoking and then quit, never to start again yesterday. So we spent the day handing the Zulu building team, who knows what they are doing, the roof supports while they attached them. We are easing into the working bit... We joked, that Katy and Melissa may get here and wonder what exactly we had done without them, but that may actually happen as today (Wednesday) is a country wide working strike to protest gas prices and food prices, so we are home again at GGA where everything is safe and quiet. All of the delays have been pretty frustrating for some of our team...so please be praying for patience and the ability to see things with an eternal perspective. I feel deeply that the Lord is not only trying to teach those of us who need to know what is going on at all times (not me) something deep and lasting, but also those of us who can't understand those that need to know what is going on at all times (definitely me) something deep and lasting as well. And we all have a very American need to produce and be driven rather than being and being flexible, just all to different extents. This will be good. We will learn and grow, and 30 kids will have a brand new school where their brilliant little minds will be cared for and nurtured.
This weekend we got to take our first trip and went to the Drankenburg Moutains. But what made the weekend so so special was Heather and Patrick (founders of GGA) came along and brought 10 of the kids who were old enough to come, but young enough they really hadn't ever been anywhere, with us and a few volunteers! It was so fantastic. We had a suprise 16th birthday party for one of the girls (Zenhle...i know i just butchered that spelling) with a Braii (bbq), cake and sweets, bonfire, singing, dancing, and star gazing. It was priceless. Such a Holy weekend full of joy. And cold. Very cold. :) But still wonderful. We traveled up Sani Pass into Lesotho and drank hot cocco at the highest pub in Africa, and rode horses on Sunday with the kids.
A few other exciting notes..and then I must go.
* Andrew has an amazing voice and I told Siya, the choir director, so of course he made him sing. He was so blown away, that Andrew is getting to sing some with the chior. The Zulu is kind of a barrier, but it is really fun to watch! I have video!
* Jungle bars and Vita Snacks are still delicious and I love them.
* Our first day we were at the Spar (grocery store) and the lady asked Katie if she wanted a plastic (bag) but Katie couldn't understand her and just kept saying "America". HAHAHH! We laugh about that quite a bit.

Please pray for
* Some of the kids in Creche have the chicken pox and two of the creche kids are HIV positive and DON"T need to catcht that...AND some of our team hasn't had them either
*Us in general.

Love and Hugs,

Julie

Thursday, June 26, 2008

sawubona!

Hello Friends!

In four days I'm going to be on my way to South Africa again. Wowy. I can't wait, but this is the nerve wracking part. I'm ready to be on that plane!! My hope is that I'll be able to update this every week or so while I'm at God's Golden Acre-- share what is happening with our team (Sidenote: What an AMAZING team we have-- Diana, Donna, Andrew, Katie, Taylor, Katy, and Melissa! I can't wait to get to know them MUCH better....more on each to come), prayer requests, how the Lord is moving in and through GGA, and of course...our ADVENTURES!

I was thinking about our trip this morning and realized that I have all these hopes for the team and the people we will be in relationship with this next month, but I haven't really been intentional about praying about what God wants for me this month. I really want to be completely open to what ever we experience and I want to really experience it. This trip is already pretty interesting for me...knowing somewhat of what to expect is great (!), but also more difficult. I know how hard it will be to leave the kids, come back to the states and deal with reverse culture shock, and the emotional ups and downs we will face. It could be really easy for me to close myself off some from those things in order to protect my heart, but I really don't want that to happen. I feel like at some point over the last few years there are parts of me that I have closed off some in the name of heart protections. I hate that. Maybe that is 'growing up'...but i think it stinks, and it isn't who I am. Please pray that life will be restored to those places, and that I will Trust the Lord enough to fully experience all the good and all the really hard that we will encounter.

So that's it for now I think...

J